Planning to Avoid Probate Fights
The family dynamics after the death of a parent can change dramatically. Parents often do not truly understand their own children and family. If you are a parent, you may be saying to yourself:
He is right some families are really messed up. I am glad my kids get along.
The problem is, this is what many other parents have said before World War III breaks out after their death. Karen S. Gerstner, a member of the Houston, Texas, firm of Karen S. Gerstner & Associates, P.C. wrote the following in her article in the Property and Probate Magazine of the ABA.
When I was a young lawyer, I attended a meeting with several attorneys to discuss certain “contested matters” that had arisen after the death of a widower who died survived by four children. I was shocked to hear one of the seasoned attorneys say, “If all decedents had only one child, my workload would decrease to nothing.” Whether you go back to Cain and Abel, or only as far back as the Smothers Brothers (“Mom always liked you best”), sibling rivalry is the chief factor in many disputes arising after a parent dies. Many laypeople attribute all litigation to greed, but in the case of family situations, often much more is involved than simply greed. Sometimes children hold deep-seated resentments, which may be based on perceived unfair treatment by a parent or sibling, often going back many years. Sometimes the last living parent is the only “glue” holding the children in the family “together” (if they ever truly were, in fact, “together”). Sometimes parents have unrealistic expectations about family.
I have seen children try to impose their view of "fairness" to their parent's estate plan. In some situations it comes to theft and in others subtle manipulations. As Ms. Gerstner stated, sometimes the last parent is the only reason for children to hold back deep-seated resentments and emotions.
Proper advanced planning is the best way to mitigate the potential for court challenges in the family. Hopefully, enough can be done during life to address some of the underlying issues that give rise to court challenges.
